you have not experienced true fear until a poster falls down in the middle of the night
One time I thought a poster had fallen down in the middle of the night, but when I turned on my light, it actually was an opossum that fell through my ceiling into my room. So, that’s actually true fear.
Reminds me of my mom getting remarried several years ago, for about a weekend – dude waited until after the wedding to tell her he expected her at waiting at home with dinner waiting when he finished work.
I dunno, like I get that this version of manhood is “normal” but goddamn is it the most brittle, contemptable fuckin thing
TEAR THEM TO SHREDS. LEAVE THEM BEHIND. LITTLE BOYS DONT GET TO PRETEND TO BE MEN, AND WOMEN ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS DESERVE BETTER.
I used to have geese so here’s a tip for everyone:
If a goose is attacking you, don’t run. No matter what, stand your ground. They can fly but when they’re mad, they don’t usually try to fly. Hold your hands in front of you, ready to grasp. When the goose gets close, grab it by the neck bit closest to the head and squeeze. Not tight enough to choke the goose, but tight enough so they can’t break free. You can hold them until they calm down or just do the next step right away. The next step is literally just to chuck them as far as possible and run for your life. It makes the goose know you’re in charge and you have a better chance of getting away. Trust me I’ve done this so many times that I’ve lost count
I can’t tell if this is a shitpost or actual advice. But I do know geese are the fucking worst.
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