Category: Uncategorized

captainsnoop:

donate to my kickstarter so i can build a time machine and

1. get julius caesar addicted to hentai
2. seduce cleopatra

“oh but how will you seduce cleopatra?” you might ask because you’re a moron. it’s simple: i’m 6′2″ and i’m fat. fatness was considered attractive back then because if you were fat, that meant you were wealthy enough to get fat. plus, 6′2″ is unreasonably gigantically tall in the BC times. 

so cleopatra will be like “a giant? AND he’s got stretch marks?” and she’ll instantly become infatuated with my rotund, hairy body 

then i will live in royalty for the rest of my days. kickstarter backers will have their names written in my tomb, baffling archaeologists for centuries to come. 

icestorming:

animalasaysrauer:

lesbianvenom:

honestly just imagine if rey handed luke the lightsaber and he just fucking threw it off a cliff like byeeeeee

And then the ocean threw it back and hit Luke in the head with it like in Moana.

…..couldn’t resist

amultitudexfdrxps:

butlerbookbinding:

maurypovichofficial:

idc if Mulan was a girl that doesn’t cancel out the fact that for most of the movie Shang thought she was a guy and was attracted to her as such anyway my point is Shang is Bi and he likes fems 

LET’S get DOWN to BI-SINESS. TLTo DEFEAT. The HUNS. I will DATE your DAUGHTERS. And I’ll DATE. Your SONS.

you can’t lie and say you didn’t sing that to the proper tune in your head