white person: *eats chicken tikka masala once* i just…. i feel so connected… to indian culture …. I’m learning to speak islam…. check out my third eye….. chakra
Every time I see this. Every damn time. I’m immediately sucked back into my fuckin. Fuckin English lit class with Mr. Fuckass McShit. Mr. “Hit the gong to begin class”, “Namaste, Children”, “I wanna go backpacking in India to find my spiritual awakening and also my left burkinstock that I lost during a cedar sauna drum circle” ass bastard.
“Do you want to share your poetry with the class to get in touch with your emotions” ass fucker. Mr. “Here’s a photograph of a tribal shaman, describe him using nature words” asshole. Pretentious-ass, condescending motherfucker.
“Do you want to tell us about your saddest memory?”
“I dunno, sir. Are you giving me an option?”
“No.”
“Then why are you asking”
Every goddamn day. Fuck. “You seem tense.” Oh, I seem tense? I seem tense. Well fuck, Professor Pillsbury, maybe I ‘seem tense’ because I walk into a room on five hours of sleep to the sound of a goddamn brass gong drilling through my brain and your seven-foot-nine, socks-and-sandals-wearing, patchouli-smelling ass immediately gravitates in my direction with some shit like “a tree……… Is a Poem” and I gotta sit here and politely tell you that No I’m Not Comfortable Telling The Class About A Time I Was Emotionally Vulnerable With A Loved One using words that sound like the way the color yellow smells. Maybe I don’t wanna sit in a circle and hold hands with Brittney from Computer Sciences to “align our auras” or some shit. Fuck. Fuuuuuuck.
I swear to God, if I wanted to sing ‘kumbaya’ with a smelly old guy with gross facial hair who writes bad porn on the side, I’d go out to the parking lot and share a Hookah with Crazy Dan, the disgraced electrician.
What, I don’t wanna do an interpretive dance to represent the spiritual experience of eating Quinoa in a room full of ambivalent preteens and suddenly I’m the ‘troubled youth’ you need to Robin Williams “O Captain My Captain” your way into having a Paternal Bonding Moment powerful enough to Expand My Impressionable Young Mind and Turn My Life Around, you goddamn saint, you? Jesus Fucking Christ. You insufferable jackass. You’re not “Enlightened”, you rolled out of bed and ate half a pot brownie, wrote a sad song about a leaf, and strolled into class to ramble about your Spirit Animal for six hours straight before calling it a day. Holy Jesus goddamned Christ. Fucking Balls, sir. Holy Fucking Balls
Okay but I wanna know what Crazy Dan did to become a disgraced electrician
Tom Hardy and Riz Ahmed are reading IGN comments and Riz read the comment that said “ Venom vs. Predator vs. Alien “ and Tom’s immediate reactions was to say “GANG BANG” and then make a face of REGRET™
I like how the only reason Harry is able to fight the imperious curse so easily is because it hits him and he’s like “Ah I feel calm and relaxed and happy…this is wrong.”
Tom Hardy and Riz Ahmed are reading IGN comments and Riz read the comment that said “ Venom vs. Predator vs. Alien “ and Tom’s immediate reactions was to say “GANG BANG” and then make a face of REGRET™
My boyfriend just woke up, mostly still asleep and told me “don’t worry, it’s getting better” in a heavy, American accent, which is unusual for an Australian man.
“Why are you American?” I asked, to which I got:
“Sorry, it’s getting better” in a stereotypical posh English accent.
“Why are you English?” I asked, amused.
“What is he normally?” He managed to ask.
“He? You’re not anyone else, you’re you.”
“Ugh, me” was the last thing he said, in a right proper Aussie accent before he fell back into proper sleep.
Bitch just thwarted a ghost possession by judging his accents
My boyfriend would be gettin’ hit with the baseball bat beside our bed if he ever woke up and said, “What is he normally?” about himself.
Then you would NOT have liked the time he pointed to a corner of our room while he was sleeping and said “they share a dimension with Earth and they take cats to eat them”.
I dont know what to say Korra and Asami are the best couple i’ve ever seen. This is what i called heathly relationship goal, always there for each other, no matter what, always believe in the other, always trust the other. Take time to say “I love you…” and be scared if one is late for the date. I’m so happy that they get that chance, to live together and evn MORE pleased that everyone accept there relationship. And i cant wait for more of them (moving together, dates, vacation, family moment, domestic home, spirit world, proposal, wedding, pregnancy, adopt, more children, vacation, family….) Korrasami is canon, deal with it !!!
Twenty-three days if all holds well. The
trek along the Imperial Highway should prove uneventful; I can only hope the
Inquisitor does not push her companions to exhaustion. While I share her sense
of urgency, there is merit to taking time to enjoy the journey.
Trading speed for exhaustion serves no
one. My concern rests with the journey once past Val Firmin. The terrain
changes, arid and dry traveling over sand will slow their progress and tire all
far faster than perhaps any are prepared to experience.
Master Dennett’s associates in Orlais
have prepared for the Inquisitor’s arrival and their horses will be traded for
the most curious of creatures. We have but one in Skyhold, and perhaps others
may find this dragon like beast intimidating, but I’ve been promised a chance
to take this Dracolisk for a field test and I will admit more than a passing
interest thanks to Dorian’s tales.
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