I thought it strange Valerie did not
ask Cassandra to join the party to the Winter Palace. After a day’s ride, I believe
I understand. For years, Cassandra mentored and directed Valerie’s movements as
a Seeker. If I comprehended what remained unsaid during the conversation, a
certain reticence lingers for Valerie. She still searches for approval, hoping
to make Cassandra proud.
Perhaps a part of that rings true for
any who serve with the Lady Cassandra. The stories-if true-conjure a likeness
to the heroes of old: battle forged and ever vigilant- the pillars of legend
resting within one of our number. No doubt the lady would scoff and deny it,
but even Valerie contends what we know of Cassandra is diminished from
everything witnessed through the years.
The fear of disappointing her mentor
governs every step. I had to ask if some of Valerie’s more unconventional decisions
were chosen to earn approval or merely to see how far the Lady Cassandra could
be pushed. I should have known it was the latter without even asking, but the
impish laugh and wink from Valerie confirmed it.
No one ever explains it well enough. We remain
the same and yet, everything has changed.
The simplest of actions carried such
meaning. Even the slightest hint of a smile held more than an evening’s conversation.
The day passed as any other. Our morning council
meeting explored our travel arrangements to the Winter Palace. Only a small
group will attend the Inquisitor; we three advisers and three others. Valerie is
certain to bring Lady Vivienne and Dorian. Both are well suited to guide Valerie
through the Empress’ affair.
Josephine, Leliana and Cassandra subjected
Valerie to endless rules of etiquette and dance instruction to prepare for the
affair. I barely escaped a second round of the same but managed to leave the
others to their task.
Nothing seemed out of place or different,
but every step I took felt as though I stood on a precipice; fear of falling mixed
with such anticipation and excitement as some unknown thing pulled me closer to
the edge.
I have been here before. Caresses that
held no meaning, no feeling. A kiss shared both deceptive and hollow. Not so
with Valerie. I cannot find the words to express it well enough, but we are a natural
extension of one another; a testament to the good in this world.
Despite the uncertainties and obstacles
we face as the Inquisition, there is one undeniable truth; with her, I am discovering
the man I want to be.
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