The Journals of Cullen Rutherford 383

melaena:

9:41 2^nd
Kingsway

The
Inquisitor lives and Adamant is ours. I should feel a sense of pride at our
accomplishments and Valerie’s safe return from the Fade. I should be at her
side as the others no doubt wait.  Instead, I am consumed with the hidden
meanings of the things I have heard. Hawke’s loss is terrible and yet a fire
rages in me.

I stood
for Valerie when the others questioned the veracity of her identity and yet I
cannot dismiss what I heard. Solas has no heart for gossip, no time for idle
chat. It was his question to Valerie that wounded me more than any other.

Do you love Hawke so
much that you are willing to risk your own life and the lives of those already
suffering this night to bring back nothing but a shell?”

How is it
possible? Was it all a lie or a charade played at my expense? Perhaps the
fault is mine; I claimed to know her well. Warden Alistair has no reason to lie;
even he carried news of what he witnessed. If this is a game in the making- to
what end? He couldn’t know what his words would do.

I am
expected. It would be in poor form to discuss the nature of our relationship,
if there even is one to speak of, but I will not play the fool.