The Journals of Cullen Rutherford 368

melaena:

9:41 15th August

No one ever explains it well enough. We remain
the same and yet, everything has changed.

The simplest of actions carried such
meaning. Even the slightest hint of a smile held more than an evening’s conversation.

The day passed as any other. Our morning council
meeting explored our travel arrangements to the Winter Palace. Only a small
group will attend the Inquisitor; we three advisers and three others. Valerie is
certain to bring Lady Vivienne and Dorian. Both are well suited to guide Valerie
through the Empress’ affair.

Josephine, Leliana and Cassandra subjected
Valerie to endless rules of etiquette and dance instruction to prepare for the
affair. I barely escaped a second round of the same but managed to leave the
others to their task.

Nothing seemed out of place or different,
but every step I took felt as though I stood on a precipice; fear of falling mixed
with such anticipation and excitement as some unknown thing pulled me closer to
the edge.

I have been here before. Caresses that
held no meaning, no feeling. A kiss shared both deceptive and hollow. Not so
with Valerie. I cannot find the words to express it well enough, but we are a natural
extension of one another; a testament to the good in this world.

Despite the uncertainties and obstacles
we face as the Inquisition, there is one undeniable truth; with her, I am discovering
the man I want to be.